fuck the bullshit.

I talked to you again today... and I'm pissed. I fucking LOVE YOU! like shit. You wanna know a secret?! I cheated on EVERY boyfriend before you. EVERY SINGLE ONE! but not you. and for you to break up with me because you thought i cheated on you. You don't know how pissed that makes me. You have NO IDEA. None. Not even a little. You fucked up? Hell yea you did.  You fucked up big time. YOU BROKE MY HEART. I've NEVER left this way about anyone. YOU did this to me. YOU caused all this. This is YOUR fault. You should have listened to me when i told you i didn't. I know you have trust problems because of your ex but IM NOT HER! I never will be. DON'T call me sweetheart DON'T tell me you care or your worried. I'm not your girlfriend anymore. If you want me back come get me. I'm still here. For now. Angel im ready when you are.


 I love you. I miss you. I want you back=/

new life

I am a runaway now. i have left my house, the security of my parents, I am on my own. No i do not live alone, I live with my bestfriend. We are in a house that has new life decisions. Everything goes by so fast. Days are blending. I have a new life, with new things to come.

please...

Today, if all goes well, there will be a more interesting blog coming soon. I really want this to happen. I would be so happy.

its simple, i love you.

I had a dream that you wanted me back last night. I wish that were true. I miss you more that anything. I wish you could see what this is doing to me. Being with you gave me a reason to keep going, now i have no reason. I wish you only knew how much i love you.

For real.

Your starting to REALLY piss me off. You can fuck with me as much as you please but when you fuck with my friends. That's it. I dont care what happened between yall but the way your making her feel about it now is not right. Your being an asshole just because you can, just to be mean. YOUR A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

so little words, so much damage.

I talked to you today. It was less than 30 seconds. I asked you for a ride home. Really i needed a ride it wasn't just because i wanted to see you, even though i want to. It was hard to talk to you. Even a simple conversation and I'm chocking back tears. I want to be able to talk to you every night again. To be held in your arms. I want you back but i know it wont happen. Slowly I'm excepting this, slowly.

Home again

 Im at home again. I've misses like 20 days of school so far, probable more. I haven't stayed home once because i was sick, just skipping. I really dont mind going to school i just dont like to get up at 6:30. Skipping so much school is starting to affect my grades. I'm a smart girl but i dont go to school to learn what i need to know.

Like today, i had a math test but i know i will fail it. I skipped 3 days last week and the teacher never goes over what we learned again. So that really sucks. im really good at math. I dont see how anyone cant be good at math. its simple, you learns where to put the numbers and do the same thing over and over again. Last year i had math suport and people would ask the stupidest questions. how hard is it to follow a formula? I mean really just plug the numbers in. but whatever.

I've never been one of those people to ask how something works or why. I just do it. It makes things easier, one less thing to worry about.

The blanket

i started making a blanket 3 months ago. It started out for my boyfriend but then we broke up. Its the longest things iv ever worked on in my life. For working on it for 3 months you would think hats iv gotten pretty far but no. It looks like a scarf, well like the length of one scarf and the width of two. When we broke up i was going to stop making it but i didn't want to just give up all that work . Then i was going to finish it and give it to tyler because i started it for him so i might as well finish it for him but then i thought that would be a waist of time since were not going to get back together. So now im going to finish making it and when its done i will give it to the most important person in my life at that time. so if you get it, its not going to be perfect but you should feel special.

The start

Alrighty.  My name is Pauline Bonneau.  I am sixteen, single, and have no idea whats going to come of this blog.  This is the first time iv written a blog so its probably going to be pretty long. Maybe... haha

My closest friends are angel eldridge, niko gonzalez and kimmie michels. Me and kimmie have been friends for 5 years now. we've had our prolbems so i think its safe to say that we are no longer bestfriends, but we are still good friends....I met angel a few months ago she was dating my ex boyfriend taylor stuffelbeam
(girls he is an asshole! please never date him. but hes pretty chill sometimes.) The first time we ever talked was on facebook. hahah we had a facebook fight. Were good friends now and she is beginning to know the real me, the part not alot of people get to see. niko... I have to say he knows me better that anyone else. I love him to death and i never want to loose him. Iv dated him like 10 times. I love how he knows all my "looks", it makes me feel like he cares enough to pay attention to the way i act in different situations.

I am currently single because of a guy named dillon boyette. My ex boyfriend tyler austin is convenced that i cheated on him with this kid. Well if i were him i wouldnt beleive me if people kept telling me that my girlfriends lying, so i understand. but god damit! you do not know how mad i was and still am at this kidd dillon. I really hope karma get him. Tyler was a pretty amazing guy. Hes sweet and thoughtful. He really made me the happiest iv been in a long time. So for the next girl that comes along for him please dont do anything stupid to mess things up.

hmm, whats next? ohh my mom. shes a bitch and crazy. Really you think in kidding but ask the people that have been to my house she it really crazy. She freaks out over the littlest things and throws things at me..? whatever. She can be pretty chill sometimes though but only when my dads out of town. Other than that shes a crazy bitch.

I want to go to college. I wish i could just speed time up and skip all the highschool bullshit and go to college. i want to skip all the lame drama and silly boyfriends. I know when i get to college im going to wish i could go back to highschool but for now i want to go to college. oh and i want to get a cow... I know its a weird thing to want but its true. Before i die i will own a ranch and have one cow. Just one. And its name will be sally.

ok so a few months ago i started talking to this guy. his name is corey griffon. hes pretty amazing and i love him(: haha just for you.

Well this wasn't as long as i thought it would be but that's alright. It made me feel better. there are more blogs to come. They will most likely be short and random thoughts that are running through my mind. byee(: